Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
porn star boner night. come get it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize