im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Bring me that man meat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize