You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
