Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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