but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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