I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize