I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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