So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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