Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
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Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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