I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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