put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
