Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
