Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
