Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
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I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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