I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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