The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
