He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
