Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
