dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
