I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
