Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
