Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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