Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
