I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
