Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
