the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
