we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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