The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
