We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
whose ass print is on the piano?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
