No awkward lesbian experiences without me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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