I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize