Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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