I wish I could teleport
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
