I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
