She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
