She is in my trunk
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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