She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize