fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
