I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
