Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
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So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
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