u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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