but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
The air taste purple.
Randomize
