I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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