no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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