u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
