I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
