If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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