very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
