Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My dick has a subreddit
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
