also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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