yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize