If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
