Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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