I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
