brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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