you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
