he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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