hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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