R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
