Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
