Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
