Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
